It's been such a long time since I wrote, and so much has happened. In a nutshell, we decided to stop being in the dance studio business. Things happened with some of our kids and their parents and it made me realize I have no desire to do this anymore. The thing that is so weird is that I have felt it was my 'calling' to do this for so many years. We have sacrificed, put so much money into it, and well.... I never would have imagined things could have gotten so out of control. I haven't been in a place mentally to deal with it since Jade's death. So..... we are finished. It basically means we will lose the house, our cabin, the land....everthing. But we have gotten our minds around it -- and are feeling hope. We have absolutely no clue where Heavenly Father will lead us at this point. We don't know what we will do. But we have peace. That is really weird.

Gin did lose his territory, and we don't know how many more months he will have his job. He is in a temporary 'overlay position' until something else comes up.... however, they are doing layoffs again in a few months - which means he is likely to lose his job.

We have started looking for alternate ways to support ourselves (just in case) and have a few ideas. We know we are going to have to move in the not too distant future. But that is okay too. We are prepared mentally for this.

Samuel, Joseph and Amber are doing great. I am grateful to have them in my life. Gin and I are doing better now that we have come to terms with the probable loss. It wasn't easy to accept. We have tried to come up with different ways to not have to go through all of this. But alas, it doesn't seem to be working. So, we'll rent a house for the first time in our lives and look at this as an adventure. I still have faith that Heavenly Father will lead us in the path that is right for us.

In Relief Society we had a lesson today and discussed Zion's Camp. It struck me then how some of the things in my life parallel this. I have had peace each and every time we invested, when we did the studio, when we have done all things. Otherwise we wouldn't have done them. Heavenly Father knew before the men left on the thousand mile trip that they would not be successful in getting their homes or land back. But He told them to do it anyway, for there was a greater benefit than the land that was going to occur. That is how I feel it is for me. We have done the Lord's will. Things didn't turn out the way we planned... but there is some greater good that is going to happen for us as a family. I am not sure what that is at present. But I have faith that Heavenly Father loves me and my family.... and that He will provide a way.